Wish
by Cypher
Summary: Wishes, faries, and Daniel. What a mess this is. Slashfic, sort of companion to Oops.


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Wish

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By Cypher

One wish. That's all I get. One wish. I could destroy the goa'uld, I could set the Jaffa free, I could bring back Sha're, or Charlie, or--

Or I could take a deep breath and make sure I haven't gone insane. Think, Daniel, would the powers that be just dump this in your lap? You never have this kind of luck, ever. I mean, I was just in my apartment going over a few weeks worth of mail when two of my goldfish--when did I get goldfish?--say hi. 

No, really. They jumped out of my fish tank and changed into, well, short people with wings.

"Hi Daniel! I'm Cosmo!"

"And I'm Wanda!"

"And together, we're your fairy Godparents!"

And that's when I fell back on my couch, checking my heart rate and feeling to see if I had a temperature. 

"Aw, what's wrong, sweetie? Not feeling well?" A wave of Wanda's wand--and what a ridiculous swirly pink hairdo she has--and I'm wrapped in a blanket with a thermometer in my mouth and an ice pack on my head. "Don't worry, we'll have you better in no time."

"Yeah! Wanda's a great nurse!" That's from Cosmo, and he's floating upside-down as he talks. This is just…crazy. I should call Jack and invite him over. Oh yeah, he'd love that. He'd either tease me about it or wish for something stupid, like a pizza. 

So I removed the thermometer and shrugged off the blanket--both of which promptly disappeared--and stood up. "I'm fine. I just…this is sort of hard to believe."

"Yeah, well," Wanda rubs the back of her head, "there are fewer and fewer kids that need Fairy Godparents, so we're branching out to adults who've earned it. And you were at the top of the list."

"I was?" I was at the top of someone's list and it's not a hit list? Nice change.

"Yeah. We figured you should get your wish before you kick the bucket again."

How is it that Cosmo can sound so cheerful when talking about someone dying? He's got a point, though. I've died a lot of times. Who knows when the next one will happen? "So, what exactly does this godparent thing entail?" I figured I might as well play along, even though I'm probably hallucinating.

"You get one, and only one, wish. As long as it doesn't break The Rules, it's yours."

"The Rules?" I shouldn't have asked, because Cosmo waved his wand and the next thing I know a giant book has fallen on top of me. Jerk. "Oh." Now I need the icepack, and Wanda thoughtfully poofs another on my head. Poofs? I'm a linguist and that's the best description I can come up with? That book must've hit me harder than I thought. 

"So, one wish. Is there a time limit?"

"Well, we're stuck with you until you make the wish."

"So you could keep us trapped here for all eternity! Or until you die again!"

Cosmo still sounds way too cheerful, and Wanda whaps him in the back of the head. "But we'd appreciate it if you made it quick. We do have others to get to."

I nod. I completely understand. They have a job to do. But one wish…what about world peace? Then we could present a unified front against the goa'uld. Or maybe I should wish for the location of the Lost City. Hmm, wonder if they even know that. "Hey, do you guys know anything about Atlantis?"

"Oh! Oh! I know something!" Cosmo's waving his arm, and I have a sick feeling about this. "I cooled it off!"

"What my cute, but idiot, husband is trying to say is that he…sunk it."

I'm sorry, did I hear that right? He sunk Atlantis? And they let him have that wand?

"I also made Pompeii warmer! Cool, huh?"

Warmer? He can't mean--no, considering the glare his wife is giving him, I think he did set off the volcano. Does this mean that every historical disaster…is the fault of fairies? That can't be right. I mean, my alien theory rocked the world, but this, this was just ludicrous. "You didn't kill off the dinosaurs, did you?"

Wanda at least looks guilty this time, and I sigh through my nose. So this Cosmo is the real reason civilizations fell, not the Goa'uld--what the hell am I saying?! 

"Actually, I kinda killed off the dinosaurs. All that scaly skin just got to me."

I raise my eyebrow at Wanda. She's the sensible one of the pair, and she just admitted to destroying the first race on Earth. Well, we think it's the first race. The Ancients might've been first.

"So, about your wish."

"Right, wish." You know, I think it's time I made a wish for me. I mean, sure, I could help the world, but I think the universe owes me one. I mean, I've died how many times? It's time for Daniel to get something for him, and not for someone else. Hmm…either that book tilted my moral compass, or I really am fed up with being the universe's whipping boy. 

Okay, so what do I want? Eternal supply of chocolate? Tempting, but no. The ability to read and understand all languages? No, the NID would want me then. A super power? The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound--geeze, my head still hurts. Okay, time to be serious. How about someone to love? Oh, that's a good one. "I wish…" 

Sam? Janet? Good friends, but no. With my history, I'm swearing off women. That leaves the guys. Siler? Teal'c? No, no. I need someone I really think it'll work with. Paul? Now there's a thought. We get along great, same interests, though Jack always gets this pissy look when I'm hanging out with him--Jack. Of course, Jack. He loves me already, he's just…what, afraid? Doesn't want to break regulations? Well, I'll fix that. "I wish Jack O'Neill could say he loves me."

They both raise their wands, but a second later the things have gone limp with a rather…rude sound. "Um, sorry sweetie." Must she call me sweetie? I catch Cosmo waving his wand and duck to the side just as the book of The Rules appears where my head was a second ago. I think he has it in for me. "The Rules say magic can't affect true love."

"So what's that got to do with…" Oh. Oh my. True love. So my hunch was right. Okay, so work around The Rules. Think, Jackson, think. "Uh, I wish Jack O'Neill had the courage to admit his feelings to me?"

They both look at the book, then Cosmo flies up. "Loophole!" The book disappears and with a cloud of purple smoke and another poof, they're gone. Okay, so now what? I guess I wait for Jack to show up and-

"Daniel?"

Wow. How'd he get over here so quickly? Maybe they brought him in when I made-

"Daniel, can you wake up?"

Huh? But I am awake. I rub my eyes, and when I open them again, I find my head on Jack's lap, looking up into his worried face. "Jack?"

"Hey, I was starting to worry."

Worry? And when'd we get to his house--oh yeah. Now I remember, we made love. Why'd I make such a redundant wish? I should've wished for…for…wait, worry? "Why?"

"You don't remember?"

I bite my lip. "Um…kinda?"

Jack gives me an appraising look. "You told me you didn't need Fraiser."

Janet? Why would I need…wait, book. Head. I shut my eyes and groan. Of course. I was rearranging one of the bookcases in the spare bedroom and this loose pile of books on the top shelf fell on my head. Well, that explains the cold wet thing on my forehead. Glancing around, I find we're in Jack's living room with the TV on and-

And I burst out laughing. On the TV is one of Jack's favorite shows. One that revolves around a kid with a pink hat, a clueless town, and two fairies known as…Cosmo and Wanda. I must've dozed off and the sounds screwed with my dreams.

"Danny? You're scaring me, here."

"Sorry, Jack. It's just," I glance at the TV once more and grin at the animated antics, "I'll explain later. Just a strange dream, that's all." And thank God that's all it was. Atlantis was sunk by a stupid fairy. Yeah, right. I shut my eyes to rest a bit longer. Like there's such a thing as a fairy, much less a stupid one.

"Hey! I'm not stupid! This is some thanks we get for bringing you two together."

And I am going to pretend I never heard that. 

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Author's Prattle: Well, I don't think it's as good as "Oops," but you have to admit, it's something Jack would probably watch. Hell, I watch it. It's funny! No, really, it is. Though they're trying a bit too hard on Danny Phantom--I digress. This was another self-challenge, that went…well, it could've been a lot worse. It's an attempt at humor, but I don't think I captured Wanda and Cosmo's true essence, if you know what I mean. Ah well. 

Disclaimers. I don't own Stargate SG-1. It belongs to Showtime, Viacom, MGM, SciFi, Gekko, etc. I simply own the plot and situations. Also don't own Fairly Odd Parents, that belongs to Nickelodeon and Butch Hartman. Don't sue, as I'm a college student.


End file.
